#CALCULUS JOKES. CODE#

'Why did all the meters run from the 1000m race? Teacher: the 'something I did not do' was your homework. 'Pupil: why am I in trouble for something I did not do? 'What happened to the plant in the maths room? As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle.' '

#CALCULUS JOKES. CODE#

'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like X and Y and refer to themselves as 'unknowns ' but we have determined that they belong to aĬommon denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Spokesman said. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the Police with carrying weapons of maths instruction. 'A secondary school teacher was arrested today at London's Heathrow International airport as he attempted to board an international flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a pair of compasses and a calculator.Īt a press conference, a UK Border Control spokesman said he believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement. 'What is the favourite destination for Maths teachers? STUDENT: I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter. 'MATHS TEACHER : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life. Joey: 'Well it has a top, a bottom, a left side, a right side, an inside and an outside!'. Keith: 'You are an idiot! How did you figure that out?' 'Keith: 'How many sides does a square have?' Son:Yesterday she told us that 5 is 4+1 today she is telling us that 5 is 3+2 !! ' 'I had an argument with a ninety degree angle. I love Maths but what seems odd to me are integers not divisible by two.ĭid you know that you can buy numbers but the most expensive is π. What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A: A roamin’ numeral. Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table? I could tell you a joke about 288… But I won’t as it’s two gross! Why did the mathematician think that Halloween was the same as Christmas? What did the complementary angle say to the acute angle? What did the Mathematician say after eating a very large dinner?Īlways wear glasses to Maths lessons. The following sign appeared on an episode of the Simpsons. I will do algebra, I'll do trigonometry and I'll even do statistics but geometry and graphing is where I draw the line! What do you call a saucepan of simmering soup on top of a mountain?ĭear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter? You have heard the warning, don't drink and derive! Try to avoid doing calculus when you are thirsty. There are 10 kinds of people in this world those who understand binary and those who don't. If it is cold, go and stand in the corner, because it is 90 degrees there. There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.

Calculus jokes.